Friday, January 1, 2016

A New Focus

Somewhere along the line, I lost every bit of motivation I had to run.  I look back on my running days and wonder where the determination went.  I just don't know.  I have been floundering since returning from BMT with my injury.  I ended up having a piece of my tibia break off and was floating in my ankle.  I had surgery to remove it and place a pin in my ankle.  I have never been the same since that surgery.  I was off my foot for way too long.  After being fully released, my ankle was never completely back to normal.  It has been frustrating ever since.  I lost my love of running when I couldn't do it without pain or discomfort.  I tried other workouts.  I love to cross train and lift weights, but I just couldn't commit to any of it for very long.  Along with that my weight has fluctuated much to my dismay and complete frustration. 

Recently, I just plain haven't been happy with where I'm at.  So starting today, my goal is to love running again.  I feel like I was happier when I ran.  I felt better when I could get away from life and have a little me time.  My goal is to hit 1000 miles this year.  It will be very tough.  I will need to run about 3 miles each day.  That will be my goal minimum for each day.  I'm hoping that my fitness will improve along with my weight.  I just want to feel better.  I have been praying about a change in my heart to help me along this new old path.  I look back for motivation and look forward to transformation!  With God's guidance, protection and grace, I know I can achieve this goal.

Psalm 18:16 says "He reached down from heaven and rescued me; he drew me out of deep waters."  I truly believe God has already done this by His grace and love.  I also believe He is going to draw me out of my floundering and reignite my passion and determination.

Today, I have begun this journey.  I got on the treadmill.  Dialed in a good episode of Castle and got in 3.5 miles.  May this journey continue by God's grace.


Sunday, January 27, 2013

Rough Call #2

I've read that the first 2 phone calls are the worst and they get progressively better after that.  I sure hope so.  Tammy called on Saturday about 4pm.  The whole call lasted exactly 8 minutes.  Sounds like she had a horrible week.  Things can only get better, right?  She wasn't the only one that was emotional again, I heard many in the background crying as they called home.  She said it sucks.  I asked if there was anything new they learned this week, or anything new they did, something at all that she liked.  Nope, nothing.  I gather that she got yelled at this week.  A LOT.  They place a few people in charge, one as a Dorm Chief and 4 as Element Leaders.  She was selected this week as an Element Leader and effectively a Co-Dorm Chief.  A description of the responsibilities for these duties (from www.afwm.org):

Dorm Chief and Element Leaders: The MTI’s will organize their flight within the first couple of days of the start of BMT. If you have shown any degree of leadership or military knowledge you may select be selected to become the “Dorm Chief,” or an “Element Leader.” The MTI has full authority to select the Dorm Chief and Element Leaders using whatever criteria they wish. Quite often the original people selected will get fired for one reason or another and replaced with someone else. The Dorm Chief is the top “trainee-leader” in the flight. She is responsible to make sure that all orders, standard ops, and instructions are carried out correctly when the MTI’s aren’t around. The Element Leaders are responsible for assisting the Dorm Chief. The bad news is that being a Dorm Chief or an Element Leader means that in addition to getting chewed out for things you do wrong, you get the added pleasure of getting chewed out for things that members of the flight (or your element) do wrong as well.

Like I said in an earlier post, she wasn't selected for these duties at the beginning.  Although I warned her that just due to her age & natural abilities, she should expect to be thrown into this at some point.  Woe to her that it was in the middle of the 1st week!  Of course none of them can do anything right at the beginning.  She said they failed their dorm inspection (miserably).  I told her to just work on building teamwork between the ladies there.  Anyone who did well in a certain area needs to help those who did poorly in that area & vice versa.  The MTIs are only looking to get them working together instead of looking out for Ol' #1.  In fact, in the schedule posted for Week 2 (WOT 2), which I will post tomorrow, it actually lays out 1/2 an hour for "Failed Dorm Re-Inspection".  They plan to see them fail & how they will react.  I tried to reassure her that she could do it.  As one of my friends put it (not from BMT experience but Afghanistan experience)...endure the suck.  She probably got yelled at & berated more this week alone than she has her whole life.  I was lucky 21 years ago when I went thru Basic...I was never put in any leadership roles.  I had it rough enough, with a shaved head & white patch, I got berated as "Gizmo" (thanks again Spielberg).  I'm praying that she can handle the next week or so & get everyone to gel together a bit.  I don't want to see her fired like her predecessor.

She took her PT test on Monday.  They do push-ups, sit-ups, pull-ups and a 1.5 mi run.  She didn't remember her exact numbers.  30-ish each on the push-ups & sit-ups.  One good pull-up.  Ran in 13:12.  I think she was tired & stressed.  I expect her to rock those numbers big time at her final.  They do another test in WOT 4 and the final is in WOT 7.

Tammy's flight is the Band Flight.  This means in addition to all of the regular BMT requirements, they also are assigned instruments and practice to play during graduation.  They have already begun practice and will be performing at graduations starting at the end of Week 4.  They take volunteers for instruments if you have experience, etc.  Its been so long since Tammy played an instrument, I don't think she volunteered.  She's playing the cymbals.  Or as some people on Facebook keep saying, the "symbols", lol.  So at least that is not something tough, to have to learn the notes & such say for a horned instrument.   Just hit 'em on cue.

We've mailed her 3 letters, the last 2 were sent out one on Friday & the other Saturday.  So hopefully she'll get those Mon & Tues.  She got our 1st letter, though she didn't say when.  She asked if we got her letter, which we haven't, and I think that bummed her out.  Anyone can write to her & I'm sure it will lift her spirits!  Just PLEASE, read the post with the specifics on what you CANT DO.  Or read them directly from here:  http://afwm.org/pre-grad/writing/.  

She got to talk to her baby Emi.  Emi was excited & I could tell Tammy was too.  But I think the emotion was too much for Emi, she sat snuggled between me & the couch during the rest of the 8 minute call & then snuggled me tight for about 30 minutes.  I'm sure Mommy's voice didn't sound like it usually does.  Plus I don't think Emi has ever heard her Mom cry that I'm aware of.  Today we read the Hallmark books that Tammy got for Emi, the ones that you can record your voice reading.  Emi listened & read those for a long time.

Tammy also called & talked to Danny & Hallie.  Not sure how long or how they handled it.  They're with their Dad this weekend.  She also got to talk to her best friend Kelli.  She had to leave a message for her Mom because Betty didn't have her phone with her at the time.  Tammy was very effective at least, making at least 4 calls in the 15 minutes they allotted.

Today was Sunday, what they call in BMT "Grilled cheese & Jesus day", as you can eat grilled cheese if you choose & go to whichever type of church service you choose.  I didn't have time to ask Tammy which service she has been going to.  I would guess the Contemporary Protestant service.  Which for her Squadron, the time is 1300-1400.  I will try to sneak that question in when we talk next or in my next letter.

Please continue to pray for Tammy.  I will post the schedule for WOT 2 tomorrow.  She should be getting into some interesting things this week.  Thanks for all of your prayers and support!!
-Gary